NetHack
a parody by Rob Balder dot com
ttto: "Pepper" by the Butthole Surfers

Skippy sank in lava, Corwin turned to slime,
They could both see what was coming but they couldn't pray in time.
Pinky fought a soldier ant that crawled out of his backpack
They were all in love with dyin', they were doing it in NetHack.
Bertha swung Mjollnir like a Valkyrie in the rain
Then she lost her mind in Sokoban; a flayer ate her brain.
They were all in love with dyin', usin' every keyboard function,
As they tried to find the Amulet, somewhere in the dungeon.

I don't mind the text sometimes, the images it shows.
Running from the Ds and Ls, and killing all the Os.
Faded prints and subtle hints and fortune cookie lies.
You never ID all your stuff, until your @ sign dies.

Some will die in hot pursuit, fleeing from a shop,
Some will eat a rubber hose, wielded by a Kop.
Some will stand there paralyzed,
Some will go down punchin'
As they try to find the Amulet, somewhere in the dungeon.

I don't mind the text sometimes, the images it shows.
Running from the Ds and Ls, and killing all the Os.
Faded prints and subtle hints and fortune cookie lies.
You never ID all your stuff, until your @ sign dies.

Arthur tamed a jabberwock but died when it went feral.
Zack wielded a cockatrice, he fell down in a stairwell.
Theseus was butchered when he misspelled 'Elbereth,'
Carmen ate Medusa, yet another stupid death.
Chauncey fought the Oracle, he knew that it was chancey,
Cause you ASCII stupid question and you'll get a stupid ANSI.
They were all in love with dyin', they were perilously plungin'
As they tried to find the Amulet, somewhere in the dungeon.

I don't mind the text sometimes, the images it shows.
Running from the Ds and Ls, and killing all the Os.
Faded prints and subtle hints and fortune cookie lies.
You never ID all your stuff, until your @ sign dies.

Copyright 2006 by Robert T. Balder

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